Retail Therapy

It seems the holidays are only becoming increasingly focused on shopping, on acquiring more and more items under the pretense of “gifting.” Multi-billion dollar marketing campaigns encourage the masses to throw all caution to the wind, max out their credit cards, and engage in some old-fashioned retail therapy. Because #holidaycheer, am I right?

So if you like the idea of being stampeded by frenzied shoppers the day after expressing gratitude for what you already have, then it might be a good idea to examine your reasons for doing so. It seems the older I get, the less interested I become in mainstream commercialist sensibilities. I’ve experienced the “shopping high” that comes with purchasing an item, often followed by regret. That regret can happen upon reaching the car, or later, when I look at my credit card statement and am boggled by how much money I spent for such a seemingly minor return. Even if the items purchased are gifts, I've realized it’s unwise to spend more than I can afford on something generic or forgettable. These “token gifts” are often unwanted anyway, as people’s tastes become increasingly specific.

These days I try to give gifts that I think will have a more lasting impact, or are more personalized. I will hand make things for people - typically things that I know are both beautiful and useful. Or I will find another way to express love and fondness through giving of my time, my talent, my care and concern - reaching out to people in a way that is expressly for them. That’s not to say I won’t give people purchased gifts at all - I mean, I love receiving a well-thought-out present as much as the next person.

But to make the holiday too much about buying things, to bow to the mounting pressure of retailers, who are madly trying to convince you you’re a terrible person if you don’t go all out with Christmas shopping every year, is an unfortunate mistake. The important thing to keep in mind while you’re doing (or not doing) your holiday shopping this year, is that what makes us happy in our lives is never going to be items found in a store. They can certainly make us more comfortable, or bring us fleeting moments of joy, appreciation, or fun, but they will not produce a happiness that lasts. True happiness stems from belonging, from purpose, and from loving and being loved.

The holidays should remind us of this essential truth. Physical items will not fill the void within each of us, and Black Friday’s siren song should be seen for what it truly is - an expensive distraction from the hard truths we would be better off paying attention to. My suggestion is to find a way to love and serve others this holiday season, whether that’s through volunteering, random acts of kindness, arranging a coffee date with someone you haven’t spoken to in a while, baking cookies for your friends, spending time with loved ones, or even just taking a moment to sit quietly and think about what you might have become very skilled at distracting yourself from.